If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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