were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize