a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
