Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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