All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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