playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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