quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
