if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
