I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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