he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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