i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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