is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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