I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
