Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
