just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
