Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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