You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
