just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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