The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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