If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
