u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize