Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
