youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Im part way to drunk.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
