i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize