I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
