I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
