i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
