yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
