lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
