One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
