what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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