I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
