threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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