This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize