They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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