Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
