every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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