Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
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