I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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