normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize