I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize