she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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