So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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