i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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