i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
