i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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