i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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