she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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