it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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