She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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