I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
