Betty ford says i'm here all night
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
