my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
