I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize