Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
