Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
