He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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