i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize