Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
