Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
