Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
