kristin has been a bad kristin
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
