I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize